Our New Year's Gratitude Tree

 The trauma that happened this Fall prevented me from making a Thanksgiving Day gratitude tree, and I'm glad. The idea was postponed for a few months until there was room for reflection again.

On walking back from yoga in late December, I came across a huge tree limb that had been torn off during a winter storm and smashed into the street. I paused for a moment to consider, and then slung one of the smaller branches over my shoulder and carried it a few blocks home. Eric laughed when he saw me parading down the street with a tree branch taller than I am, but he helped me wrestle it inside and fill a pot of dirt to keep it upright.

I decided this would be a gratitude tree for the New Year instead. We had a brunch on New Year's day, and I asked each of our guests to write down one thing they were grateful for in 2012, and one thing they wished for in 2013. Then everyone tied those little hopes and thanks to the dry bare branches. Whenever anyone comes inside, I've asked them to do the same.

I love walking past those fluttering slips of white paper, covered with handwriting; spidery curls, tidy printing, or bold block letters. Some thoughts are short and others detailed. Some are lofty, ("No more hungry children in 2013!") some outlandish, ("I hope the Vikings win the Superbowl ..in my lifetime anyway.") some just simple pleasures, ("2013: The perfect Old Fashioned.")

I've enjoyed it as a reminder of what good things we've had already as we go on hoping for more. newer, better too. I don't know if this wobbly shard of a branch will last an entire year in our apartment, but I love the idea of saving him till 2014 and using him as kindling for a giant bonfire to ring in another New Year.

Tell me gentle readers, what are you grateful for in 2012? What are your wishes for 2013?

I am Thankful for Oxygen.

Breathe from joyshoppe

Yesterday at school, I was grading student work. The topic, naturally, was thankfulness.

"I am thankful for earth, shelter, food, water, oxygen, a family, love, freedom, education, and pretty much everything."

Of course, this answer made me laugh. Who is thankful for oxygen?

But later, I thought, he is so right! We should be thankful for oxygen! Without it, life would be pretty bleak. A vacuum. The opposite of life. No-thing-ness.

It's easy enough to set aside one day to pay lip service to all we have. Most of the essays I looked at yesterday held the variation we still regurgitate as adults on such occasions; Family, friends, good food, a nice home.

Sure, we are grateful for those things. They are wonderful and we appreciate them, or at the very least, remember that we are supposed to appreciate them.

But what about just breathing? What about the tremendous and awe inspiring gift of life?

Your life is worth something merely because you exist. There is nothing you can do (or not do!) to make it worth less.

You can screw up the turkey. You can have a shouting match with your father right at the dinner table in front of all your relatives. You can be a Kardashian. You could have failed the bar exam (or passed the bar exam!). You could eat Thanksgiving dinner alone in a booth at Denny's. You could have negative five hundred dollars in your checking account.

Your life could be a failure (or a success) by all the measures of our culture, and you could still have this precious gift of life to be grateful for. Spend a moment basking in the glow of that knowledge on this Thankgiving Day. How tremendous. How humbling.

What I like about Museums

You walk up the marble steps. You are leaving the plane of every day existence. You are climbing into a special realm that contains the infinite expressions of human potential. Your spirit will be enriched. What is good in you will feast.

You pass through the glass doors and a blast of cool air washes over you. It feels good after the dusty heat of the street in July. The bustle of the street is replaced by silent calm. It settles over you slowly, like a fine silt sinking to the bottom of a pond. You buy a ticket from a fellow all in black, right up to his square glasses. You take the ticket to a white haired man near a red velvet rope. He smiles at you as he tears your ticket.

As you walk through the grand hall, you hear the echo of your footsteps in the immense space. You notice how much museums borrow from cathedrals. Both are sacred spaces. We need space to let our spirits expand to their fullest capacity.

You climb up the vast marble staircase. You are alone on the steps, but the grooves worn in them speak of thousands of feet that have walked here before you. They whisper of footsteps yet to come.

You turn into the gallery. Polished parquet. Gold guilded frames. Benches covered in soft blue velvet. You are invited to be still. To be silent. To consider, without any words.

Just look. Just look. Just look.

When you have had enough, go back to the world.

Book Report: Letters to a Spiritual Seeker by Thoreau

I've just finished reading Letters to a Spiritual Seeker, a collection of letters from Henry Thoreau to his friend and admirer Harrison Gray Otis Blake. Mr. Blake initiated the letters, and though his part of the conversation was destroyed, one can imagine the other half of the conversation by listening to Thoreau's replies, just as you can get the gist listening to only one side of a phone call.

I have to confess that I haven't read Thoreau's masterpiece, Walden, but have plans to, especially after reading Annie Dillard who is so obviously inspired by him. He was also a favorite of my hero E.B. White.

What struck me as I read this book was how much his approach has in common with other spiritual teachers I've studied. He believed in living simply and directly, but above all, he believed in the responsibility we have to the gift of life. We must honor that tremendous gift with the way we carry out our day to day lives.

I just put another stick into my stove, -a pretty large mass of white oak. How many men will do enough this cold winter to pay for the fuel that will be required to warm them? I suppose I have burned up a pretty good tree tonight,- and for what? I settled with Mr. Tarbell for it the other day; but that wasn't the final settlement. I got off cheaply from him. At last, one will say, "Let us see, how much wood did you burn sir?" And I shall shudder to think that the next question will be, "What did you do while you were warm?" Do we think the ashes will pay for it? That God is an ash man? It is a fact that we have got to render an account for the deeds done in the body.

Who knows but we shall be better the next year than we have been in the past. At any rate, I wish you a really new year,-commencing from the instant you read this,-and happy or unhappy, according to your deserts.

pg 114-115

This idea appeals to me enormously because it is about accountability- to yourself. You have yourself to own up to about whether or not you are honoring your potential with the way you go about your life. So often I don't make the cut- I arrive home from work tired and spent and I cop out on the sofa with a little HGTV and some junk food. That doesn't revive my spirit. In fact, it diminishes it.

Thoreau thought that there was too much distraction and madness in his day, can you imagine what he would think of the modern world? Of decorating shows? (ha!) It has only become easier to tune out in modern life. Our culture is designed to encourage it at every turn. I've come to believe that the only way to stay "in it" every moment is to train our minds and spirits to create habits that are nourishing and expanding. I am trying to do this in my own life, little by little, but it is an arduous, painful task. Here is Thoreau's advice to those of us trying to follow the path of simple, direct living in the present moment:

"Why will not I, having common sense, write in plain English always; teach men in detail how to live a simpler life, etc.; not go off into---? But I say that I have no scheme about it,- no designs on men at all; and, if I had, my mode would be to tempt them with the fruit, and not with the manure. To what end do I lead a simple life at all, pray? That I may teach others to simplify their lives? -and so all lives be simplified merely, like an algebraic formula? Or not, rather, that I may make use of the ground I have cleared, to live more worthily and profitably?"

pg 125

This I love too. We are not simplifying ourselves just to simplify. We are simplifying ourselves so that we may lead a richer life of the interior. And why not tempt ourselves with that thought, the thought of the beautiful, unfettered joy we will feel in reaching our potential, instead of the difficulties we will inevitably meet along the way? I also prefer to be inspired by the fruit instead of the manure. This book was filled with the luscious, ripe fruits of a cultivated life.

What are you reading lately? What advice do you have for someone seeking a rich life of the spirit?

Celebrating Every Day with Becky Kazana

These are the cheerful freebies I'm adding to all my Becky Kazana orders lately. (I've been busy adding lots one of a kinds to the shop this week!) I like how they are cheerful, fun and Hawaiian too. A cocktail (or cupcake!) embellishment seems like the perfect tiny surprise, and the banners just happen to show off my blossoming calligraphy skills.

Mahalo to my neighbor Margaret, who traded me her calligraphy expertise for a bit of my basic computer know how. We've had lot of fun spending our Wednesday afternoons together.

Have you learned anything new lately? I'd love to hear all about it!

What I know for Sure: I'm Going to Miss Oprah Winfrey

Image via m.oprah.com

There are only 13 Oprah shows left. 12 by the time many of you read this. I had to write to her, just once. Here's what I wanted her to know:

Dear Oprah (& the wonderful Harpo staff member who will read this note),

I wonder how many letters have begun that way in the last 25 years? I am adding mine to that enormous pile even though I know you may never read this, because I want to put my thoughts down so I can understand them better. I have been getting positively weepy all through The Farewell Season, but especially during clips that look back on your extraordinary life in television. Watching you high five viewers, welcome guests, tear up, and wave your arms in the classic "Aha moment" brings tears to my eyes every time. I love seeing your evolving hair styles and wardrobe choices over 25 years, not to mention those of your guests!

But when I try to think more deeply about why your show means so much to me and my life I find myself choked with emotion. It's hard to describe. I remember an episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon answers "What is your religious affiliation?" with "I basically do whatever Oprah tells me to." It may have been tongue in cheek, but it wouldn't be funny if it weren't also true. Your show holds a unique place in my spiritual development and my understanding of the world as a place full of wonder, mystery, humanity and bounty.

I think the dailiness of The Oprah Show has contributed to my feeling of you as someone I know, trust, and love. You appear in my living room five days a week (and my mailbox once a month!) to share something with me- a story, an idea, a cool new gizmo. But if it were only that, I would have stopped watching long ago.

What you offer me is the tremendous gift of your authentic self. This is no small thing in our phony, schmaltzy, celebrity-obsessed culture. I know you couldn't have given me that and accomplished all you have without also being "full of yourself" in the most beautiful sense.

Watching you become more and more completely yourself over the years has made me believe the same thing is possible for me and my life. I am still learning how to live better day by day. Watching you get better with each year shows me that life is a journey that keeps unfolding until the last breath. I will never pout about a birthday because I know each year comes with the blessing of wisdom, more than a fair trade for wrinkles and grey hair.

Congratulations on 25 years. Thank you so much for the lessons you will continue to teach me.

Devotedly,

Becky

I'll be hosting a Last Oprah Episode viewing party on May 25th. If you're in the Kailua Kona area, and would like to join, please send me a message.

Giddy Giveaway! Win a copy of Martha Stewart's Special Occasions!

Hello Lovelies! It's been far too long since my last giveaway, so here's a lovely one to celebrate Spring! I'm giving away a copy of Martha Stewart's Special Occasions to one lucky reader.

This book is crammed full of ideas on how to create a special event, whether it's a wedding or a dinner for two. If you've been a fan of Martha's magazines over the years, this is a veritable Best of the Best.
A backyard graduation party.

This darling tea party wedding is one of my all time favorite. So unfussy and yet so elegant!

And who could forget this amazing beach party? Divine!

To enter, please leave me a comment telling me about a favorite special occasion and one of the details that made it so memorable. Please leave a thoughtful entry since I'll be picking my favorite comments to win. Don't forget to include your e-mail address so I can get in touch if you are the lucky winner! (No email, no entry darlings. I can't chase you down to give you goodies!)

Happy Commenting!

Becky

Poetry Corner: Gnostics on Trial

by Linda Gregg

Melon Print from the extraordinary shop Naturalist Collection.

Let us make the test. Say God wants you
to be unhappy. That there is no good.
That there are horrors in store for us
if we do manage to move toward Him.
Say you keep Art in its place, not too high.
And that everything, even eternity, is measurable.
Look at the photographs of the dead,
both natural (one by one) and unnatural
in masses. All tangled. You know about that.
And can put Beauty in its place. Not too high,
and passing. Make love our search for unhappiness,
which is His plan to help us.
Disregard that afternoon breeze from the Aegean
on a body almost asleep in the shuttered room.
Ignore melons, and talking with friends.
Try to keep from rejoicing. Try
to keep from happiness. Just try.

found via the always inspiring Writer's Almanac. Check out Linda Gregg's Books here.

Banishing the Blues: Five things I'm Digging Right this Second

As you may have guessed by the slow posting (and the melancholy tone of late!) I've got a little case of the blues. Nothing serious- it happens from time to time to us all, but I thought I'd write down five things I'm grateful for to banish them:

1) Thanks to our exciting news, I'm doing lots of daydreaming about cycling around Italy wearing a silk scarf and these shades. (Do you think they might mistake me for a local?)

2) A visit from my lovely Mum! She's the easiest house guest ever- perfectly content to sit in my sunny backyard, chit chat with me, cook up lovely nibbles and stick her toes in the sand.

3) I've been watching Jamie At Home thanks to my tivo and am crazy, madly in love with him. Everything about it is wonderful- his relaxed, confident style, the gorgeous ingredients, the extreme close ups of that gorgeous food moving and gooshing around on the plate, looking so alive and succulent, his slight and adorable lisp, his hobbit hole of a kitchen with bundles of herbs hanging from the earthen walls and mismatched crockery- even his preposterous hair- I love it all. I can't wait to try a few of his recipes.

4) I've just had an order for 20 Dachshund Party Dogs for a birthday bash in a few months. Doesn't that sound like a fun celebration?

5) I'm loving the instant collection of wooden Ukranian Easter Eggs I scored on Ebay. Their electric color palate pops against their shiny black shells and looks both traditional and radical at once. No pastels in sight!

Wanna play? What are you feeling gratitude for right this second?

Triangulation

My two best friends came for a visit last week. I've known them for thirteen years, ever since I was sixteen. What is it old friends know about you that other people never could?

When I think of the three of us in high school, I think of Sarah's LeBaron Convertible (which we dubbed "Cher" after a face lift in which she went from navy blue to cherry red) show tunes blaring, our hair tangling in the wind, singing at the top of our lungs. Crying our eyes out after watching Reality Bites for the first of a thousand times. Sharing our (probably terrible) teen angst filled poetry. Watching Katie playing her guitar through the crowd and being in on the secret meanings of her songs. The giddy rebelliousness we felt as we ripped our clothes off on the shore of Medicine lake in the middle of the night and plunged into the black, weedy depths.

Of course, our lives took us in different directions. We've all followed winding paths to adulthood- Sarah's took her from Wisconsin to Alaska to Oregon, adding a big white dog, a ginger headed husband and matching wild woman toddler, a beautiful house and a nursing career along the way.

Katie became a mother to a very lady like little girl in glasses. She still pursues her love of music, playing shows around Minneapolis, touring and recording whenever she gets the chance. She works for the college she graduated from, helping other young musicians pursue their dreams and traveling all over the country. She's met a wonderful man who is a great father to Lou and yin to her yang.

Our lives have taken us far from each other and sometimes it's a few months between phone calls. But we come together for the big moments, and every now and then, manage a trip together. What surprises me every time is that being together is never easy.

You would think that after so much water under the bridge and such a rich knowledge of each other, our visits would be awash in nostalgia and reminiscences. But, what makes our relationship so charged with magic is that I can feel them shaping me even as we sit poolside sipping mai tais. Of course, we always have fun. But, there is always an element of discomfort- the kind of pain that growth requires.

As I watched them with their families this past week- busy being moms and wives, I was also struck by how happy they are, how much themselves. For some reason, it felt quite lonely to me. It brought me back to my own winding path and how far it has diverged from the expected, the usual. I felt a bit lost. All the things that make a typical life are missing from my own. No career, no home, no kids. I thought again about how diverging from life's usual trajectory leads you to uncharted territory. You have nothing to rely on or plan around but yourself and your own internal compass. When you add in children, a home, a nine to five job, there are things that follow logically. One thing necessitates other things. The freedom and flexibility of my life also comes with a cost- it comes at the expense of certainty.

Then I found myself thinking about triangulation. When distances are too difficult to measure physically, you can find the other two fixed points in the triangle and find their angles to ascertain the third location. That triangle might span miles or inches. And you can use the information for navigation.

My friends have lives very different from my own. Welcoming them into our home was a joy, and a huge departure from our usual routine. Our normally quiet, tidy house was turned into a wild, messy, joyful base of operations. I didn't get to share my day to day life with my friends, perhaps because it is unsharable. By it's very nature, it is solitary, quiet, meditative, slow.

I felt myself looking in on their world as parents- the love they feel for their children is so palpable, so real. Yet it is something I just don't comprehend, because it is incomprehensible to someone who hasn't done it. The only person I love with that crazy, wild, unabashed, bottomless love is my husband.

But we don't need identical lives to share this bond of adopted sisterhood. In fact, it's better as it is, with each point in the triangle distinct, unique and telling each member exactly where she is.

Eric's New Ride

Eric recently added this vintage looking motorcycle to our stable of vehicles. Doesn't he look great on it? I can't wait to learn to ride!

Special thanks to our lovely friends at Big Island Motorcycle Co for helping him find the perfect bike. They specialize in motorcycle rentals, so if you are visiting The Big Island and want to hit the road, I highly recommend that you give them a call. (The also rent beach cruisers for those of you who like a bike where YOU are the motor!)

A Rosy Valentine's Cake

I'm always looking for an excuse to bake an elaborate cake because it's one of my favorite ways to spend a Sunday afternoon, a completed cake is a beautiful backdrop for a Love Bird Photo shoot AND I have something delicious to share with Eric over a glass of champagne that evening.

Valentine's day was the perfect occasion for just such a project. I used a simple tutorial from I am Baker to make this beautiful Rose Cake. It really was quite easy, though I must confess that I still haven't got the hang of the "crumb coat" yet. I used plain white cake mix doctored

with coconut and coconut milk. I improvised an orange curd filling with some beautiful local oranges from my friend Katie's farm.

These little Love Birds in Lemon Yellow looked just right on top of the elaborate rosettes. I also added edible pearls to the centers of the flowers. Best of all? It tasted amazing!

Did you do anything special for Valentine's Day?

Feathering my Nest with a little help from Momma D and Jonathan Adler

One of my many Christmas gifts from Momma D was this divine Peacock from Jonathan Adler . Doesn't he look swell decked out in nude peacock feathers? The tropical climate and ants conspired to eliminate his utility as lolipop holder, so I ordered feathers instead. (Just as frivolous, don't you agree?) It was hard to stop at just 30 bleached peacock feathers when I saw all the amazing colors and varieties of feathers available at Beary Box. A girl could really go crazy with all that plumage.

Many thanks Momma D! Will you do the honor of naming him for me?

A Poem to Remind Us All, Poets or Not.

I've just woken up unreasonably early, my head jumbled with jigsaw puzzle pieces of bad dreams and worries that don't quite fit together. Perhaps it's the start of a New Year that has got my subconscious so worked up. Making a list of resolutions seems so painfully cliche (and I'm too muddled to get it right at the moment anyway.) Instead, I thought of this poem, with it's advice to "avoid screens" and honor silence. (The photo above is from this lovely apartment.) Wishing you a New Year filled with clarity and peace.

Love,

Becky

How To Be a Poet

BY WENDELL BERRY

(to remind myself)

i

Make a place to sit down.

Sit down. Be quiet.

You must depend upon

affection, reading, knowledge,

skill—more of each

than you have—inspiration,

work, growing older, patience,

for patience joins time

to eternity. Any readers

who like your poems,

doubt their judgment.

ii

Breathe with unconditional breath

the unconditioned air.

Shun electric wire.

Communicate slowly. Live

a three-dimensioned life;

stay away from screens.

Stay away from anything

that obscures the place it is in.

There are no unsacred places;

there are only sacred places

and desecrated places.

iii

Accept what comes from silence.

Make the best you can of it.

Of the little words that come

out of the silence, like prayers

prayed back to the one who prays,

make a poem that does not disturb

the silence from which it came.

New Years Rockin' Eve!

We're all looking forward to a fresh start come January 1st, but first we've got to send 2010 out in style. My husband and I will be dancing away the last night of 2010 while my friend Katie fiddles with her bluegrass band. If you're in Kona and would like to join in the fun, you can still get tickets here. Here's my inspiration for a fabulous night. See the treasury live on Etsy here!

Now this is the slogan for a great new year! Here's to clean slates and fresh starts.

What's more fun than an outrageously and unabashedly sugary Tingly Lolipop ?

Why not go over the top with some bow embellished peep toe heels?

These two are the perfect inspiration for a night full of fun and mayhem! (Harlequins always call up the new year for me with their black and white checkered costumes- it's something to do with being halfway between two things- the old and the new, don't you agree? According to Wikipedia, their real meaning is much darker. )

Sparkling vintage earrings will go perfectly with all the bubbly that's being passed around.

No time like New Year's Eve to experiment with an outrageous eye color- or three!

And what New Year's Eve is complete without a shimmering Mirror Ball? Wishing you a New Year full of surprise, delight and wonder.

Airplants- The Zen-iest Houseguests!

A little more catalog inspiration! I loved the look of these grapevine airplants and had mentally filed them away when I came upon Tortoise Loves Donkey- who specialize in airplant sales!

Here are my little quartet of plants installed on a lava rock I dug up at the beach. So very zen, don't you think? These little guys don't like soil or being cold, but they do like a nice soak of water about once a week. I haven't got much of a green thumb, but think I can handle that much.

P.S) That photo in the background is of my brother and I one Easter Sunday long ago! It's one of my all time favorite shots of he and I.

What kind of plants do you keep in the house? I've heard ferns are pretty easy- any tips?

Kristin's New Pad!

At long last, Kristin and I arranged a photo shoot so we could share her apartment re-vamp with all of you! She is so thrilled with the transformation- I think we really took it from a crash landing pad to a home. Here's a peak at the before!

This is a furnished rental apartment, so everything was quite neutral. There was some terrible hotel art on the walls, so the first thing we did was take it all down and hide them under the bed to give us a clean slate to work with.

There isn't much stuff in this small apartment, but in such a small space, clutter determines whether a space feels calm or chaotic.

This area in particular we wanted to make more functional for Kristin so she could use it for eating and food prep instead of random stuff catchall.

When vertical spaces are filled to the brim, it tends to weigh down the space. We decided to re-imagine her photos as art on the large wall opposite so we could re-claim this tabletop for a display of something inspiring and lovely to look at.

The bedroom already had a wonderful jolt of color- we just wanted to add some details to make it feel more cozy and relaxing.

Here is our heroine enjoying her new space AFTER. Doesn't it feel transformed?

At the narrow entryway, we re-painted some of her frames with simple coat of black spraypaint. Having a cohesive color makes a huge difference visually, cutting distraction so the art is the star. Here, Kristin chose to display some vintage Hawaiian post cards that were $1.00 a pop.

In the living room, we added a durable rug made from recycled bottles which made a huge impact in terms of making the room feel more personal. We also added hanging lanterns for a pop of geometric color and Kristin selected photographs and artwork that reflect her interests and personality.

Remember all that tabletop clutter? We transformed it into a visually impactful display of images that hold meaning for her. Now everyone who walks in the door can take a little walk through Kristin's life. The trick is to vary the scale, be choosy and use photoshop!

Now look at that tabletop. So clean, fresh and energizing!

I sewed these custom pillow covers with fabric she picked out and I love how they look Hawaiian, but the color combination still keeps it fresh and preppy. So perfectly Kristin!

I didn't get a shot of the lanai before, but we revived it with a pretty tablecloth and a potted orchid. Now she can enjoy her beautiful view of the garden and welcome friends over for meals.

To cozy up the bedroom we added some oversized throw pillows. (Aren't the pom poms perfection? I can't get over how cute they turned out.)

Hello Lilly Pulitzer, eat your heart out!

On her vanity we added a cork board for her growing jewelery collection. Kristin loves to make her own jewelery, so we needed a way to showcase her beautiful pieces! Seeing all your jewelery at once means you wear it so much more. When you can see it all at once, you can find the perfect piece in a flash.

Kristin also framed a small sketch a stranger did of her in a local bar. Art doesn't have to be expensive or professional to make it up on your wall, just take care in the presentation. Mementos like this one make a home feel personal and welcoming.

Wishing you all the contentment, success and joy you deserve in your new space dear friend! Congratulations!