Money is like Manure.

Money, Money, Money, Money. It's fascinating stuff. I'm not very accountable with the little bit that I do have- I spend it on eating out, entertainment, shopping, and it's easy to lose sight of long term goals. Since Eric and I have a goal of running Becky Kazana together full time, I recently decided to actually write down those goals, so I'd have a way to measure our progress and to remind myself of the larger benefits of the daily sacrifices it takes to be thrifty.

I turned our goals into an illustration for our fridge. It'a an interesting portrait- remember what Holly Golightly's mobster accountant tells her in Breakfast at Tiffany's? He says her receipts could be turned into a best selling novel. I imagine that's true of almost anyone's bank account.

Our goals include saving money for a baby or two, money for our emotional and physical health, money for travel (those are airplanes, dressed in the national costumes of places we might want to visit!) and money as a result of creative work- a reward for being a producer, not just a consumer.

Another of my cherished movie axioms about money comes from Hello, Dolly!. She quotes her late husband, saying "Money is like manure. It should be spread around, encouraging young things to grow." Originally, I loved his because I thought of it as avoiding stinginess or miserliness. You can't take it with you, so enjoy it, right? But I think it also means that wealth is something that you must cultivate, care for. Money on it's own isn't an end. It's what you can grow with it, what you nurture with it that makes it valuable. For me, that's my health- my relationships, my body, my mind, and the experiences I will gather over the course of a lifetime. It isn't things, the way I used to think it would be.

Movie Review: Ruby Sparks

Ruby Sparksis the story of a wunderkind writer, Calvin, who wrote a masterpiece as a teenager. Now in his  thirties, he's trying to come up with a second novel. He's suffering from writer's block. It's terrible. He's seeing a shrink and his only real friend is his brother. He's gotten a puppy called Scotty, who appears to be as neurotic as he is (he pees like a girl dog), in the vague hope that a dog will help him meet people when he's hiking.

One night he dreams about a beautiful red headed girl, back-lit by the sun, and begins to write about her. His writer's block seems cured- he's writing obsessively about Ruby, as though through the typewriter he's actually spending time with her. He realizes that he's falling in love with this character- and that she isn't real. But he is too lonely, too full of anxiety to stop writing.

That's when Ruby turns up in his kitchen, exactly as he'd envisioned her in the dream, munching on cereal. He's terrified at first, convinced that he's losing his mind. When he takes her out on the street and strangers can see her too, he stops resisting. Why shouldn't he fall in love with her? After all, she's the perfect woman, his dream girl! She was made for him- by him.

Now, in a typical romantic comedy, things would play out from here along the silliest and most trivial lines. But here, they go for the jugular to get at the heart of what makes relationships so difficult.

All relationships are like a mirror. The people we love show us things about ourselves. A new lover, especially reflects a version of yourself that you want to believe in and adore. But as time goes on, the beautiful light fades. We are forced to see ourselves as we really are in the mundane, day-to-day moments of our lives. When faced with our own imperfections, we don't want to gaze as closely at ourselves, and so we begin to look for imperfections in the other person instead.

That moment of dissatisfaction is where the premise of Ruby Sparks gets really interesting. What if you can change the person you're in love with? What if you can control what they say and do? This is the perfect scenario, right? They will love you unconditionally, and you will never have to change.

Calvin tries to resist at first, but it starts to look as if Ruby might not stay with him left to her own free will, and he changes the rule book. He begins to tinker with her, adding lines to his novel so that she will adore him more, never want to leave him, and be miserable without him. She becomes despondent when he goes out to get the mail. In following scenes, she clings to him like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood. Unable to take life as a conjoined twin, he writes instead that she is filled with joy. Suddenly Ruby is deliriously  vacantly, creepily happy about absolutely everything.

Calvin discovers that controlling Ruby's thoughts and feelings destroys his reasons for loving her. Free will is essential to the idea of true love. It's part of the mystery of it- that someone could have the planet full of people to chose from, and from those billions, they plucked you, and you them. What a beautiful mystery!

I won't spoil the resolution for you, I will simply say that this film was a wonderfully thorough investigation of why and how love works and how freedom and risk are the only ways to the ecstasy of true love.

Movie Review: Young Adult

Young Adult stars Charlize Theron as a deranged teen fiction novelist who returns to her hometown in northern Minnesota, fixated on stealing her high school boyfriend Buddy, away from his new baby and happy marriage. Although Theron is famously glamorous, with mile-long legs, luminous skin and a Christian Dior contract, her character Mavis is a bum. She parades around town in a saggy Hello Kitty t-shirt and grungy sweatpants, stringy hair pulled into a ponytail. Upon waking face down in the clothes she wore the day before, she guzzles Diet Coke straight from the bottle like a thirsty horse. Mavis has a drinking problem that is veering into serious alcoholism and compulsively pulls out her hair while watching television. The young adult series she's been ghost writing has come to the end of it's faddish popularity and she's trying to figure out what to do next.

Diablo Cody wrote this film, and her stamp is everywhere. The dark, mentally disturbed, but gorgeous anti-hero feels perfectly in line with her other work. She and director Jason Reitman make a great team, because this film has his touches of modern day American realism. The strip malls and cheezy chain restaurants aren't glossed over, because they are part of the story being told. This is the same world you and I live in, with people we might actually know. 

As Mavis tries to put her ham-fisted plan into action, she runs into someone else she and Buddy went to high school with. Matt (the brilliantly cast Patton Oswalt) is still the dork he was in high school, now an accountant at a local bar, busy perfecting an elaborate whiskey distillery in his garage and painting Star Wars action figures in his ample spare time. He's trying to forget the physical and emotional scars of an attack that happened their senior year, when a group of jocks jumped him, mangled him and left him for dead because they (wrongly) thought he was gay. Eventually most of the people in town forgot all about it, though the pain is still fresh for him. When Mavis drunkenly reveals her plan to him, he half-heartedly tries to stop her, but they are both lonely and in need of a drinking buddy. 

As the story unfolded, there were a few things that got in the way for me. One was Charlize Theron. She's beautiful even in her schlumpy clothes and her celebrity overshadows her considerable acting talent. I would have loved to see this part go to some lesser known actress who could help me sink deeply into the story for the entire film. The part of Buddy seemed forced, perhaps because he had the unhappy task of convincing us that he was uninterested in Charlize Theron. In order for the plot to move forward, Buddy has to show disinterest without registering obvious disgust at her mental illness. This allows her character to continue making her advances toward him, not realizing, or simply ignoring the fact that he doesn't want her. It didn't work well in my opinion- and the climactic confrontation scene felt contrived.  

 But most pressing of all is the problem of a resolution. Though Mavis doesn't get what she wants in the end, she doesn't appear to have learned much either. Perhaps that is the ultimate mark of Reitman's realism. Real life doesn't usually have tidy endings and dramatic, overnight personal transformation either. This dark little film gave me plenty to mull over in the days after watching it. I definitely enjoyed it.

Have you seen it? What did you think? Any suggestions on what to watch next? 

Movie Review: Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre Poster Image via Kurtodrome

On their first meeting, Jane Eyre tells Mr. Rochester she has no tale of woe. This isn't true. Jane has woe, she just doesn't want to tell him about it. She grew up an orphan with a nasty aunt who favored her own spoiled son who, predictably, enjoyed tormenting Jane. Eventually, she is sent to reform school where the ruthless nuns take an instant dislike to her, encouraging all her peers to do the same. She spends her first day standing on a chair above the others, without food or water as public humiliation for a vague charge of lying. Her best and only friend dies of fever within a few months. But that woe is hardly worth mentioning, considering what lies ahead for old Jane.

Mr. Rochester has hired Jane as governess for his niece, whom he has adopted after her mother's death. His estate sits on a desolate part of the heath where there is rarely other human companionship, especially of the quality deemed appropriate for Mr. Rochester. Obviously, in Victorian England, someone like Mr. Rochester cannot converse as an equal with mere servants. As a well educated and refined young woman, Jane is excluded from this rule. Mr. Rochester's brutish attempts to draw Jayne out irritate her at first, but it soon becomes clear that he is suffering from a broken spirit and a very strange secret. Slowly, they become friends, and eventually, she begins to feel strongly attached to him, even though she knows their love can never be. Talk about Romantic Longing! This has it ALL OVER Twilight, people. 

I'd read the novel many years ago, and I remember crying my eyes out when I finished- so tender, so heartbreaking, and so exactly the kind of dramatic, passionate love that every young girl fantasizes about. I wasn't sure what to expect from the film, but I was delighted by every frame. It perfectly captured the haunting, brooding mood of this story set on the dreary, windswept moor in a dark and grand old castle. 

Actress Mia Wasikowska portrays Jayne perfectly as rather a plain, quiet, person with a burning spirit within her. Her manner and costumes reminded me of the one photographic portrait of poet Emily Dickinson. Jane seems quiet and mousy, but her interior world is ablaze with life and passion. Michael Fassbender is unbelievably sexy as the tortured Mr. Rochester. That their love cannot be acted upon only ignites their passions further. I'm telling you, Charlotte  Bronte, Moira Buffini and Cary Fukunaga gave Eric and I a great date night flick.

Have you watched anything great lately? I'd love another romance as smart and sexy as this one.

Moonstruck: Love is Messy

Have you seen Moonstruck? It's definitely in my top ten. This movie is often campy and sometimes profound, just like another favorite of mine, also written by John Patrick Shanley, called Joe Versus the Volcano. What both stories have in common are heroes who decide to stop playing it safe with their lives. Instead, they decide to really live and feel the pain and joy that decision brings. I found tears streaming down my cheeks as Johnny tells Loretta this:


"I want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if you burn in hell. The past, the future are a joke to me now. They ain't here. I see that now. Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. The storybooks are *bullshit*. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and *get* in my bed!"

Now that is a compelling argument for living fearlessly. What is your favorite movie?

Why Modern Women Still Love Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

I read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice in eighth grade and haven't revisited it since, but I've been meaning to watch this this BBC produced mini-series for ages. Ever since reading Bridget Jones' Diary my freshman year of college and thickly realizing that my beloved Bridget is just a modern re-imagining of Elizabeth Bennet and Mark is (hello! She didn't even change his name!) Mr. Darcy. Remember the chapter in Bridget Jones' Diary where Bridget interviews Colin Firth and bumbles all her questions because of her simmering crush on this version of Mr. Darcy.? Me too.

Wanting to be in on the joke, Eric and I finally watched the mini series this week. Every detail was so beautifully done, I can't say enough to recommend it. The acting is superb and manages to feel lively and filled with meaning and emotion, despite the unwieldy language these Edwardian characters are bandying about. The costumes and homes featured are lovingly arranged in beautiful shots. And of course, there is the story itself.

As I watched, I couldn't help but think that there is a reason why Jane Austen's novels have stood the test of time and continue to appeal to modern women hundreds of years later. They contain three often contradictory components women are still looking for in romantic endeavors all these years later.

First, there is the idea of being ardently desired that appeals to women on a very basic level. It is flattering when a usually composed and dignified man loses his cool to become a puddle at your feet. Even if you don't desire him. Especially if you don't desire him. It makes you feel powerful.



Secondly, there is the idea of security, which Ms. Austen handles deftly. During her time, the idea of marrying for love was a new concept. Most people were concerned with marrying someone of good position that could to support them through their old age. If we answer this question honestly, we have to confess that this is still a factor in choosing the person to spend our lives with. And yet, no one wants to be the sort of person who marries only for this reason. It seems so calculated. So unfeeling. Ms. Austen had to tread lightly with her heroines, causing them to hate the wealthiest men at first and spurn their affections only to be convinced after a very long, slow and dramatic series of events prove this terrible rich guy to not be terrible after all. And then perhaps she could entertain the idea of being his wife. And then, we can finally remember that he's rich! (This trope is still being worked into novels and screenplays by the way. See Friends with Money for more evidence of the slightly distasteful "Did We Mention He's Rich?" surprise.)

Thirdly, modern women prize their independence. No one wants to think of themselves, or their heroines as sheep who meekly follow the course set for them by their families or societies. Instead, we like to think of ourselves as headstrong, determined, and busily creating our own destinies. This ties in beautifully to the theme of a passionate love unabated by any societal pressure or impediment. There is something about being with someone against all odds, of fighting for each other, of overcoming obstacles that no one thought you could, that makes you feel your love is invincible. Your love can withstand anything because it has already overcome so much. That is a good vantage point from which to consider marriage. From that heady view, you can convince yourself that despite knowing not one couple truly happily married fifty years in, you and your beloved will triumph. Now that my friends, is romance. And I for one, want much more of it.

Why do you think Jane Austen remains so popular so many years later? Which of her books is your favorite? Also, do you think Colin Firth is as hot as Bridget and I do?

I Watch Louie & You Should Too.

There is a lot of trash on television. My current tivo que is pretty short, especially now that Oprah is gone: The Daily Show (if E turns it on) 30 Rock (which seems to be on the downslope) Jamie at Home and my Not-Even-the-Teensiest-Bit-of- Guilty-Pleasure; Project Runway.

I like shows that are believable, humorous and thought provoking. Entertainment needs to give me something to chew on- I'm not just looking to kill time. (Usually. I did spend a few hours watching "Storage Wars" recently.)

So, the show Louie on FX is right up my alley. Though much has been made about how crude Louie C.K.'s standup is, I was immediately impressed by the fact that he had something genuine to say about modern life. It's not hardy har har shock and awe gross out humor. I am utterly done with that nonsense. I don't know what happened, but my threshold for boob jokes dropped to zero about six months ago. I watched a few episodes of Eastbound and Down recently and began to suspect that the "Isn't this Guy Stupid Premise" is all a screen to continue with the misogynistic nonsense we've supposedly gotten past. I'm so tired of this perspective- women as aloof, snobbish, bitches or stupid, skeezy bimbos. Isn't there a middle ground there? Isn't this 2011? Isn't half your audience is women?! Could you make something more interesting please?

So I found Louie's approach refreshing. He's wrenchingly honest about his interior life- examining his ego from every direction, finding it unbearably ugly and dealing with what he's seen by laughing at it.

This show must cost nothing to make. It's almost exclusively people in rooms talking, interspersed with clips of his standup. It's funny without being trite. It has pathos without being morose or melodramatic. It's real while simultaneously incorporating surreal elements. In a way, those strange moments make it feel even more life-like, because life is full of absurdities.

Louie doesn't conclude every episode with a Meaningful Lesson where Everything is Resolved Until Next Time! (This is the most tired trope of all television formulas.) But on the flip side of that, it doesn't involve a tangle of people shouting and being jerks. Apologies to Larry David, but nobody likes you and I don't want to watch a show about that. Louie is a jerk too, but he is self reflective about it, unlike Mr. David who seems incapable of realizing that he himself is at the root of every single one of his irritations and perceived slights.

I've never seen anything like Louie on television. And that's why I'll keep tuning in.

What are you watching lately?

Goodbye, Harry Potter.

Image from Nadine Jolie

Have you read The Harry Potter Series? I finally read (and listened!) to them for the first time this year and was so moved by the story, which borrows so much from The Hero's Journey. It's about growing up, but also what it takes to conquer your fears, take ownership of your life and the magic that comes out of that. As this is the last movie, I feel as if I am saying goodbye to Harry for good this time and I feel misty about it. We've been watching the movies again and it really is extraordinary to watch these three people grow up on film. They've spent the greater part of their lives playing these characters- I wonder how that shaped the poised young adults they have become? Can you imagine how emotional you would feel letting go of those characters after so much time? No wonder Emma & J.K shed tears at the premiere!

Will you be seeing Deathly Hallows Part II today?

Movie Review: French Kiss

French Kiss is one of those movies I watched a million years ago and thought was okay. But when E and I watched it again the other night, a rare thing happened. I liked it better the second time around. Maybe it's the fact that I've traveled a lot more since the first time I watched and can relate more deeply to a saga of stolen luggage and travel gone off the rails. Maybe it's my eternal devotion to Meg Ryan for starring in not one, but two of my all time favorite movies. Maybe it's the fact that I've unconsiously stolen her haircut. All I really know is that this time around, I loved this movie.

French Kiss is the story of a woman named Kate who sends her fiancee off to Paris for a business trip and loses him to a French goddess. He breaks off their engagement via a long distance pay phone call in thirty seconds. She is on the next flight, despite a deep and paralyzing fear of flying. Without a real plan to win back her man, she is a bundle of coiled nerves and exposed neurosis.

She ends up seated next to an arrogant and rude Frenchman called Luc (the always delightful Kevin Kline) who has a few items to hide at customs. He stashes them in the unsuspecting Kate's bag and the merriment begins.

Of course, her bags are stolen and she and Luc are sent scrambling all over Paris to recover them. One thing leads to another, and soon enough Luc is helping Kate to win her man back as we slowly begin to hope Kate and her fiancee never get back together at all.

This movie is undoubtedly silly and a bit contrived. But one of the reasons it worked so well for me this time around is that it tells some truths about the differences between French and American culture. It also tells the story of a woman who thinks she has her life all sorted out- she's just about to walk down the aisle with a nice guy, buy her dream home to fill with 2.5 children and surround with a border of tulips and a white picket fence. While watching that fantasy disintegrate just before she gets her hands on it, she realizes that in a way, she has been saved from a life half realized. She has been saved from a man who doesn't really love her and a life she only wanted because she thought he wanted it.

Instead, she is propelled into the now and has to learn to let go of her past or drown in grief. She is clinging to the familiar but vanished past because she is afraid to ask herself what it is she really wants.

Oh yes, and what she really wants involves a three hundred year old vineyard in the sun drenched south of France. And wearing little striped shirts and tasting the essence of lavender in a fabulous glass of wine. And learning to love herself instead of an idea. That could be why I liked it too. Maybe.

Have you watched any good movies lately? I'd love some suggestions for my Netflix que!

So and So Said: Marilyn's Philosophy

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe

Quote via The Writer's Almanac, image by Sam Shaw via My Art Prints

What is it about her that is still so captivating after all this time? I've read several biographies about her, but none were able to explain the way she has remained fixed in our collective imagination for the last fifty years. I love the idea of learning to trust no one but yourself. That's a lesson I am still working on.

Cautious Optimism about "Bridesmaids"

I'm cautiously excited about Bridesmaids which will be in theaters on May 13th. Kristin Wiig has become one of my favorite comediennes and this looks like a much needed send-up of how RIDICULOUS the wedding industry can be. (Just watch one episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" if you need convincing.)

However, we ladies know there is a sad derth of great flicks made with us in mind. Even the great Tina Fey has disappointed us. I"m through getting my hopes up. 83% on the tomato meter is a good sign, but I won't make up my mind until the credits are rolling.

What is your favorite chick flick of all time? (When Harry Met Sally is my Ultimate, but Annie Hall, Joe Vs. the Volcano and Thelma & Louise are also right up there.)

Movie Review: Mostly Martha

E and I somehow managed to see the American re-make of Mostly Martha (No Reservations) while we were living in China. It was appallingly bad in every way. Had we been in the United States, I'm quite sure we would have walked out. (Seeing an American movie in a Chinese movie theater was a bit of a rarity so we toughed it out!) The premise was wonderful- so full of possibility. This is my most detested movie going experience- seeing something that could have been wonderful made flat, silly and trite. So I was happy to discover that Mostly Martha was originally done in German. I added it to our Netflix que with the hope that they did it better the first time around. I wasn't disappointed.

Mostly Martha is the story of an uptight, perfectionist chef who cannot stand to hear her creations criticized. She obsesses about preparing her food with precision, but she has no real conception of how it can nurture and satisfy on far more than a physical level. We never see her taste even one bite of the exquisite gourmet food she is busy preparing day after day. She lives alone in an antiseptic bubble of her own making. Then one day, on their way to visit Martha, her sister and niece Lina are in a car accident. Suddenly, Lina is an orphan and Martha has an eight year old girl to care for.

As you might expect, this transition is bumpy. Both engulfed in grief and plunged into unfamiliar roles, Lina and her Aunt Martha antagonize each other with oppressive silence. To make matters worse, Lina stubbornly refuses to eat. Meanwhile, Martha's boss has hired a new chef to "help out" around the restaurant. Mario's easy going, cheerful personality are an instant hit with everyone in the kitchen- everyone except Martha, who is convinced that he is after her hard won spot as head chef.

As the story unfolds, Lina begins spending lots of time in the restaurant kitchen watching and learning. She is instantly enchanted by Mario and takes to hanging on his every word. (It's no coincidence that Martha makes buttoned up French cuisine and Mario prefers a relaxed approach to Italian classics!)Martha tolerates having Mario in their lives since it seems to help Lina deal with her grief and finally begin eating again. But she begins to learn something from him too.

I believe that making food is a powerful metaphor for nourishing every part of ourselves- not just our bodies. And that is what made this movie so moving to watch. Food is much more than just fuel- or at least it can be. It's something we offer to the people we live with day after day. That can be very intimate. If you offer food made with mechanical precision and no gusto, what are you really offering? If you do it with warmth and enthusiasm and joy- then you are giving a precious gift that can't be denied and is filled with the complexity and richness of life. Nothing less!

And P.S: the the Soundtrack is wonderful. What great movies have you seen lately?

Movie Review: Exit Through the Gift Shop

Exit Through the Gift Shop isn't a documentary about the illusive street artist Banksy. It's a documentary about street art and what happens when a subculture is co-opted and then consumed by the mainstream. It's about what happens next in that process, when art is commodified and reduced to entertainment. But it's mostly about the one flimsy thing that separates art from pop culture: intention.

This documentary centers on the intertwining stories of Thierry Guttera, and street artists Shepard Fairey and Banksy. Guttera is a loner Frenchman in L.A running a vintage clothing shop by day and filming illicit graffti artists by night. His cousin Invader leads him to Shepard Fairey (of Obama Hope poster fame) who opens the door to an entire counterculture of bandito artists roaming the streets after dark armed with cans of spray paint. He records them scrawling subversive messages on alley walls, train cars, bus stops and stop signs. Over time, he becomes one of them, his omnipresent camera recording their every move. As he becomes more deeply immersed in this illicit world, he becomes obsessed with adding to his collection the most elusive and secretive trophy of them all, Banksy.

In an interesting twist, though Guttera had captured tens of thousands of hours of footage, he never watched or cataloged the film he collected, dumping it without order or reason into 20 gallon tubs and piling it in a store room like a racoon. For him, the interesting part of film making was the pretense of the camera which allowed him to be there in the first place.

Eventually, and against the odds, he does meet and befriend Banksy and is brought into his trusted inner circle. At that very moment, Banksy is skyrocketing to fame in the art world and his work is commanding record breaking prices. Banksy realizes that the movement he helped to create is about to become swallowed up by the mainstream and urges his friend Thierry Guterra to finally make his documentary with all the incredible footage he has collected.

So Guterra does. From his massive stash of film, he randomly pulls clips together to form an hour and a half long meth fueled nightmare of cut together snippets. Banksy is unimpressed, but feels that someone ought to do something with Guterra's film hoard. Banksy suggests that Guterra try his hand at an art show while Banksy and his team goes through the footage independently.

Guterra throws himself into the art world fray without hesitation. Since he has toured around the world filming different artists, he has seen plenty of high end gallery shows, but doesn't know much about what it takes to run one himself. He rents a warehouse space and hires a massive team of creative people to help execute his vision Andy Warhol Factory Style. He spares no expense and re-mortgages his house and business to pay the costs. His graffito bandito friends agree to help him and through the endorsements of now world famous street artists he is welcomed into the art world without much critical deliberation.

The documentary walks us through the hype factory of his big debut show and asks the question, What, if anything, separates the work of an imposter (or, more kindly, newcomer) like Thierry Guterra (now going by the alias of Mr. Brainwash), and the work of long standing members of the subculture like Banksy and Shephard Fairy?

The artists themselves seem puzzled. Who is the joke really on? What is the intention behind what they are doing? Graffiti is all teasing and provoking authority and promoting rebellion, so what happens when it is accepted into mainstream pop culture? Is it then stripped of all meaning? And if so, how can any of these artists claim to be more legitimate than Mr. Brainwash?

There has been speculation that the whole thing is an elaborate hoax masterminded by Banksy, but I tend to agree with Boston Globe reviewer Ty Burr who said, "I'm not buying it; for one thing, this story's too good, too weirdly rich, to be made up. For another, the movie's gently amused scorn lands on everyone." They say that truth is stranger than fiction and it certainly seems to hold true in this little movie.

Movies I'd love to See: Bill Cunningham New York

When I see previews for documentaries like this one on the famous New York Times Fashion Photographer Bill Cunningham (who seems so delightfully unaffected!), I want so badly to hop on a plane to L.A so I don't have to wait for it to arrive on Netflix in six months. I can't wait to hear what he has to say about the fashion world which is so often misunderstood (or written off) as frivolous and irrelevant. I think fashion describes the aspirations of it's culture at any given moment- not necessarily the reality, but what it wants to be. That is fascinating stuff. What does fashion mean to you?

Movie Review: Deep Water

Editors Note: This post was originally meant to be published in January of 2008, (eek!) but apparently it never got past the DRAFT section of Blogger. I hope you enjoy it now, and it also pertains to another post coming up later this week.

Happy Viewing!

-Becky

Last night we watched the documentary Deep Waterabout the 1962 Golden Globe Challenge. The contest was to see if one man could sail around the world non stop. Eleven men accepted the challenge, including the Dark horse candidate, Donald Crowhurst. He was relatively inexperienced although he built navigational equipment for a living, he had never attempted a long voyage before. Sailing around the world singlehanded is still regarded as an enormously challenging undertaking- the immense solitude, herculean physical demands and violent south seas all pose infinite challenges. But today, sailors use GPS and satellites, have better food provisions and can be in constant radio contact. In 1962, heading to sea single handed to circumnavigate the globe wasn't so different from going to the moon.

This movie was excellent, with narration by Tilda Swinton and interviews with a lot of the major players, but what I loved most about it was the way it investigated the psychology of a loser. The heroic personality who places himself against some mighty task, suffers, and ultimately triuphs is familiar ground. But what about the fellow who puts himself to the ultimate test and finds out that he is weak, incompetent and a cheat? Then what?

Joseph Campbell talks a lot about how water in mythology is a powerful metaphor for the subconsious. So going to sea in a tiny yacht is like pitting yourself against all the might of the self in you that you do not know. And Donald Crowhurst's unknown self was deep and powerful, just like a furious ocean. His story is an incredible one, told here with all the drama and revelation of the best movie making techniques.

Right in line with my Non-Fictional Man Versus Nature streak, huh? What films are you watching lately?

Digging Deeper into It's a Wonderful Life

Which movies do you watch over and over again come Christmas time?

Every year, Eric and I cuddle up withThe Charlie Brown Christmas Special and The Grinch, but A Christmas Story , Elf and Christmas Vacation are often in the line up too.

Then of course, there is that sacred cow of Christmas Films, It's a Wonderful Life . As a devotee of old movies in general, Jimmy Stewart in particular, and sappy, life affirming messages all around, you'd think this would be a favorite of mine.

And it is. But it isn't.

I watch this movie almost every single year and bawl my eyes out the whole time. But it's not the sort of crying I do when beauty catches at my heart and sends a recognition of the sweet, gorgeous brevity of life shivering through me. There is some of that, but it is overwhelmed by a deep grief for George Bailey and everything he has cheated himself out of.

George Bailey is a heartbreaking character. He has a life full of promise. He has dreams for himself. He wants so much to see the world. He wants to see what lies outside Bedford Falls. And he sacrifices those dreams again and again for other people. He believes that he is the only person holding it all together.

Now, I believe whole heartedly in helping others. But I object deeply to the idea that it can only be done through ruthless self sacrifice.

It's a very convincing lie. You can do it for awhile, but if you are giving from a place that is not rejuvenated (you are giving out of duty, expectations or with an eye to reward) then burn out awaits.

Just look at George before he meets the angel Clarence. He is a ghost of himself- sunken eyes, bitterness and guile swelling up in his heart. His anger and frustration explode out of him at whatever happens to be in his way- the school teacher on the phone, his oldest boy asking for help with Christmas related vocabulary, the oak tree he drunkenly crashes into.

This idea that everything will fall apart if not for "ME" holding it all together is seductive. We cherish this idea because it makes us feel important. But what if the things we are holding up need to fall apart so that something better can arise? Or what if someone else will take up the task with an enthusiasm and joy we could not bring to it?

In the end, this is one of the lessons that George learns. When he lets go, he discovers that his friends love him enough to come through and create a miracle for him and the Building and Loan.

Our lives can be filled with meaning when we realize our fullest potential and our joy flows out to enrich the lives of the people around us. Because if we can give from a place that is refilled by joy, love and compassion then we can do it endlessly and without bitterness or desire for reward. It's the difference between pouring from a puny bottle or pouring from a well that is eternally replenished at the source.

Bet you didn't realize all that was packed into one little movie, did you? What's in your Netflix Que this December?

Movie Review: A Judy Garland Marathon

A few weeks back I watched A Star Is Born after reading the sad story behind the renowned film. After it's release in 1954, it was enjoying big success and huge crowds at the box office. The head honchos at the studio decided to cut 30 minutes from the film so that they could fit in more showtimes each evening. Unfortunately, they made the edits without consulting the director and did them in such a way that they could never be recovered. The version that I saw had the original audio, but with still photographs standing in for film. Talk about a brutal triumph of commerce over art!

The film itself was interesting- lots of big razzle dazzle dance numbers, and belted out ballads, of course. The story is Hollywood's best loved tale: the rags to riches story of a woman from the middle of nowhere with big talent. She is discovered and propelled to stardom by a past-his-prime leading man who is devolving into a drunk and town joke. But what made the movie so special was it's star. Judy Garland was so vulnerable in this film. She plays a cracked and broken woman who comes to learn that above all, The Show Must Go On.

To me, the most moving scene comes after she has just had a devastating conversation with a close friend about her pathetic drunk of a husband. She begs her friend to help find her husband an acting job and pleads that above all, his last shred of dignity be spared. She is a wreck, crying, sobbing and shaking. Then comes the call. She is needed on set. And so she goes back to work, singing and dancing an energetic tap dance number that requires a joy she is nowhere close to feeling. But that is her job, and so she reaches in somewhere deep inside and pulls it out.

My curiosity piqued, this weekend I watched Judy Garland - The Concert Years. While I wouldn't recommend sitting through this dull documentary to any but the most devoted Judy fans, (her obnoxious daughter Lorna does the film no service with her phony narration) this little gem was nestled in at the very end. I think it explains precisely what made Judy Garland so irreplaceable. She was unafraid to be completely vulnerable and the frailty let her gift shine through brilliantly, giving us a little glimpse of what life really is. Her story reminds me a great deal of Edith Piaf's, and also of this quote:

"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets through." -Leonard Cohen

Watch this clip, and tell me if you agree.

The Winner of the "Never Let me Go" Giveaway is...

First, I wanted to thank each of you for your thoughtful entries to this contest. I am always impressed with your comments and it means so much to me that each of you participates in the little community we've made together on this blog. I LOVE hearing from you. I plan to keep doing giveaways until each of you win at least one lovely thank you treat.

And without further adieu, the winner of a copy of the novel "Never Let Me Go", an autographed poster and t-shirt is Liz who said:

"A movie I saw recently that I really liked was Good, with Viggo Mortensen, which just came out on DVD. It depicts a normal German college professor's gradual rise in the ranks of the Nazi party. What really set it apart from every other Nazi movie I've seen is that it depicts him as a good, if flawed, person who gradually makes small but significant compromises for his own sake and the sake of those around him, justifying them to himself in various flimsy ways.

[SPOILERS] First, he refrains from speaking out against Nazi book burnings, joins the Party and finally accepts an "honorary" position in the SS to advance his career under the pretext that he can affect change from within; he accepts an offer from Goebbels to have his novel about the ethical complications of compassion for the dying turned into a propaganda film for euthanasia; he makes only a half-hearted effort to secure his close Jewish friend exit papers.

However, though we aren't asked to sympathize with him at the end, he never becomes a caricature or a monster; he is weak and complacent rather than evil and without humanity. The absence of faux-German accents and typically German first names among the main characters and the use of familiar (if British) colloquialisms underscore the film's implication that what happens here could happen at any time and in any country."

Sounds like a powerful film Liz- I'm adding it to my Netflix que for sure! Thanks for the amazing recommendation and please do let us know what you think of the novel! Congratulations!

Never Let Me Go Giveaway!

Have you heard the buzz about the new film "Never Let Me Go"? I absolutely loved Carey Mulligan in "An Education". (I suspect her pixie cut is inspiring a lot of actresses to chop their locks!)

Never Let Me Go is based on the novel by Kazuo Ishiguro, the celebrated author behind "The Remains of the Day". It's set in a dystopian British boarding school in which the students are set apart from the outside world for a mysterious purpose that is slowly unveiled as the story progresses through the relationships of three students. I can't wait to see it.

Today's giveaway includes some fabulous loot!

Film Poster signed by director Mark Romanek, Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield

A Copy of the Book by Kazuo Ishiguro

A Never Let Me Go T-Shirt

To enter to win these fabulous prizes, visit The Never Let Me Go website and leave me a comment describing the best movie you've seen lately and what made it so memorable. I will choose my favorite response at the end of the week, so please make your entries thoughtful. Don't forget to include your e-mail address so I can reach you if you are the lucky winner!

You can also follow me on Facebook and Twitter so that you'll never miss one of my Giddy Giveaways! Good Luck Sweeties!