Movie Review: Ruby Sparks

Ruby Sparksis the story of a wunderkind writer, Calvin, who wrote a masterpiece as a teenager. Now in his  thirties, he's trying to come up with a second novel. He's suffering from writer's block. It's terrible. He's seeing a shrink and his only real friend is his brother. He's gotten a puppy called Scotty, who appears to be as neurotic as he is (he pees like a girl dog), in the vague hope that a dog will help him meet people when he's hiking.

One night he dreams about a beautiful red headed girl, back-lit by the sun, and begins to write about her. His writer's block seems cured- he's writing obsessively about Ruby, as though through the typewriter he's actually spending time with her. He realizes that he's falling in love with this character- and that she isn't real. But he is too lonely, too full of anxiety to stop writing.

That's when Ruby turns up in his kitchen, exactly as he'd envisioned her in the dream, munching on cereal. He's terrified at first, convinced that he's losing his mind. When he takes her out on the street and strangers can see her too, he stops resisting. Why shouldn't he fall in love with her? After all, she's the perfect woman, his dream girl! She was made for him- by him.

Now, in a typical romantic comedy, things would play out from here along the silliest and most trivial lines. But here, they go for the jugular to get at the heart of what makes relationships so difficult.

All relationships are like a mirror. The people we love show us things about ourselves. A new lover, especially reflects a version of yourself that you want to believe in and adore. But as time goes on, the beautiful light fades. We are forced to see ourselves as we really are in the mundane, day-to-day moments of our lives. When faced with our own imperfections, we don't want to gaze as closely at ourselves, and so we begin to look for imperfections in the other person instead.

That moment of dissatisfaction is where the premise of Ruby Sparks gets really interesting. What if you can change the person you're in love with? What if you can control what they say and do? This is the perfect scenario, right? They will love you unconditionally, and you will never have to change.

Calvin tries to resist at first, but it starts to look as if Ruby might not stay with him left to her own free will, and he changes the rule book. He begins to tinker with her, adding lines to his novel so that she will adore him more, never want to leave him, and be miserable without him. She becomes despondent when he goes out to get the mail. In following scenes, she clings to him like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood. Unable to take life as a conjoined twin, he writes instead that she is filled with joy. Suddenly Ruby is deliriously  vacantly, creepily happy about absolutely everything.

Calvin discovers that controlling Ruby's thoughts and feelings destroys his reasons for loving her. Free will is essential to the idea of true love. It's part of the mystery of it- that someone could have the planet full of people to chose from, and from those billions, they plucked you, and you them. What a beautiful mystery!

I won't spoil the resolution for you, I will simply say that this film was a wonderfully thorough investigation of why and how love works and how freedom and risk are the only ways to the ecstasy of true love.

Quirky Picks for Valentine's Day

Say Anything Illustration from  Hello Small World

I don't know about you, but I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine's day. It's not because I'm bitter and sitting alone with a bottle of wine. I love the love part- I get a kick out of making valentine's and sending them out to EVERYONE I care about. In this regard, I dig the cheesy, corny, silly, kistchy, kid friendly nature of the day.

What so often goes wrong is the romance part. It so easily turns into something torrid- a flat sugared up version of passion that is sex-shop tacky. Think lacy red polyester lingerie, reservations at a fondue restaurant (Seriously, what's so romantic about melted cheese on bread cubes?) the obligatory FTD red rose arrangements and heart shaped Jacuzzis.

I'm looking for a Valentine's day that is quirkier, or more grown up than all the usual cliches. Although I confess, there is no color that screams passion better than RED. Check out my Etsy picks for Valentine's Day right over here. Also, make sure to watch Say Anythingagain this month sometime. I bet it inspires you to make a mix tape for someone you love. Don't forget this song.

Moonstruck: Love is Messy

Have you seen Moonstruck? It's definitely in my top ten. This movie is often campy and sometimes profound, just like another favorite of mine, also written by John Patrick Shanley, called Joe Versus the Volcano. What both stories have in common are heroes who decide to stop playing it safe with their lives. Instead, they decide to really live and feel the pain and joy that decision brings. I found tears streaming down my cheeks as Johnny tells Loretta this:


"I want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if you burn in hell. The past, the future are a joke to me now. They ain't here. I see that now. Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. The storybooks are *bullshit*. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and *get* in my bed!"

Now that is a compelling argument for living fearlessly. What is your favorite movie?

Why Modern Women Still Love Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

I read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice in eighth grade and haven't revisited it since, but I've been meaning to watch this this BBC produced mini-series for ages. Ever since reading Bridget Jones' Diary my freshman year of college and thickly realizing that my beloved Bridget is just a modern re-imagining of Elizabeth Bennet and Mark is (hello! She didn't even change his name!) Mr. Darcy. Remember the chapter in Bridget Jones' Diary where Bridget interviews Colin Firth and bumbles all her questions because of her simmering crush on this version of Mr. Darcy.? Me too.

Wanting to be in on the joke, Eric and I finally watched the mini series this week. Every detail was so beautifully done, I can't say enough to recommend it. The acting is superb and manages to feel lively and filled with meaning and emotion, despite the unwieldy language these Edwardian characters are bandying about. The costumes and homes featured are lovingly arranged in beautiful shots. And of course, there is the story itself.

As I watched, I couldn't help but think that there is a reason why Jane Austen's novels have stood the test of time and continue to appeal to modern women hundreds of years later. They contain three often contradictory components women are still looking for in romantic endeavors all these years later.

First, there is the idea of being ardently desired that appeals to women on a very basic level. It is flattering when a usually composed and dignified man loses his cool to become a puddle at your feet. Even if you don't desire him. Especially if you don't desire him. It makes you feel powerful.



Secondly, there is the idea of security, which Ms. Austen handles deftly. During her time, the idea of marrying for love was a new concept. Most people were concerned with marrying someone of good position that could to support them through their old age. If we answer this question honestly, we have to confess that this is still a factor in choosing the person to spend our lives with. And yet, no one wants to be the sort of person who marries only for this reason. It seems so calculated. So unfeeling. Ms. Austen had to tread lightly with her heroines, causing them to hate the wealthiest men at first and spurn their affections only to be convinced after a very long, slow and dramatic series of events prove this terrible rich guy to not be terrible after all. And then perhaps she could entertain the idea of being his wife. And then, we can finally remember that he's rich! (This trope is still being worked into novels and screenplays by the way. See Friends with Money for more evidence of the slightly distasteful "Did We Mention He's Rich?" surprise.)

Thirdly, modern women prize their independence. No one wants to think of themselves, or their heroines as sheep who meekly follow the course set for them by their families or societies. Instead, we like to think of ourselves as headstrong, determined, and busily creating our own destinies. This ties in beautifully to the theme of a passionate love unabated by any societal pressure or impediment. There is something about being with someone against all odds, of fighting for each other, of overcoming obstacles that no one thought you could, that makes you feel your love is invincible. Your love can withstand anything because it has already overcome so much. That is a good vantage point from which to consider marriage. From that heady view, you can convince yourself that despite knowing not one couple truly happily married fifty years in, you and your beloved will triumph. Now that my friends, is romance. And I for one, want much more of it.

Why do you think Jane Austen remains so popular so many years later? Which of her books is your favorite? Also, do you think Colin Firth is as hot as Bridget and I do?