Monday, March 26, 2007

10 Ways that Europe Differs from USA. Language considerations aside (for Mr. Greg Nelson)

I'm into lists at present because I seem to be having trouble focusing on one topic long enough to write a whole paragraph. With lists I can write as many parenthetical sentences as I like and still feel relatively witty.

1) Europeans bring their dogs with them everywhere; on trains (we saw a long haired dachshund that perfectly matched his mistresses' knee high suede caramel colored boots), restaurants (we saw a big black cocker spaniel at a fondue restaurant in Geneva) and to the movies (okay, no examples of that, but it sure seems like something Europeans would do.)
2) Their croissants make our croissants look like stale triscuts. I could definitely eat those for breakfast every single day (European croissants, not stale triscuts).
3)The Swiss do Fondue like no one else. I don't know how Alpine goatherders managed to survive so long on molten hot cheese, bread and wine, but god bless 'em. Chocolate fondue is just a shocking affront to their delicious concept.
4) No one can do over-the-top guilded ceilings like the French. Who doesn't like nudey golden cherubim holding banners inscribed with Latin? You know you love it and you also know you'll never get it in the U.S.A.
5) You wouldn't believe how bad American coffee and beer are compared to what they've got in Europe. (that "Kicking and Screaming" reference is for you Mr. Prigge, so I hope you're reading...It may be a twenty-something cliche; I can't help it if it also happens to be true.)
6) It only costs $30 bucks to fly around in the European Union, so you can feel like a jet setter without spending like one. (No free peanuts though...)
7) There is no shortage of brilliant paintings. Did you know that during World War II the French took all the masterpieces out of the Louvre and hid them in barns in the countryside? But the best part is that every single item was returned when the war was over. That is a cultural identity rooted in art history. I can't help but admire it.
8) Where else will you see an H&M every five storefronts? (In three more years this may also be true in the U.S...beware the Swedes and their cheap yet trendy home and clothing empires!)
9) The Thomas Hardy tour takes one through England, not Florida.
10) You can walk into a McDonalds in Belgium and quote John Travolta's lines from "Pulp Fiction" content in the knowledge that thousands have done so before you and thousands will do so after you. Kinda like having your Mary Tyler Moore beret throwing moment in downtown Minneapolis. Sure, its dorky and everyone passing by thinks "Tourist". But you know you want to.

2 comments:

Mr. Prigge said...

I, in fact, am reading. And I do appreciate the reference. Any reference to the good "Kicking and Screaming" delights me. As does the thought of European coffee.

Hope to see you guys soon.

Mr. Prigge said...

I, in fact, am reading. And I appreciate the reference to the good Kicking and Screaming. Any reference to it delights me. As does the thought of European coffee.

Hope to see you guys soon.

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