Saturday, September 02, 2006

The Saga of the Move Continues.

1) We are not home yet. We are in Madison. Eric is asleep in my brother's bed.
2) My cat had an anxiety attack on the way here (read: feverish, panting, dilated eyes, hyperactive purring)
3) We didn't actually leave Chicago till 9:30 last night, and we took a bizarre route on Devon Street which led us through an Indian Neighborhood I never even knew existed. It was an odd way to leave my beloved city, like going through a rabbit's hole filled with sparkling saris and snarly traffic.
4) My last day with the babies was lovely, but they have no idea that we won't be seeing each other anymore. I felt upset about that, because to spend so much time together and then just leave them without a clear understanding was really awful. Sort of like trying to explain to them that Elvis had died. They just didn't get it.
5) My body is incredibly sore and dehydrated and just grubby in general. I feel disgusting.
6) This move has been a disaster. I have stuff in three states and the thing I wanted to avoid most (unpacking and re-packing everything in MN) is looking inevitable.
8) We left all manner of things in that coach house, which made me sad, because I want to see it get used instead of abandoned in the alley. Perhaps the new tenants will enjoy it. Here is a partial list of things that just wouldn't fit: a drill, pillows, stock pot, my little 9th grade jelly cabinet, that cool decoupaged dresser I did (I did hijack the knobs though). The car was ridiculous. We didn't put anything on the roof, but probably should have. It was brimming. The passenger seat is basically uninhabitable. Now, with the cat in his new home, it should be a bit better. Redonculous I tell you.
9) We had an incredibly meal on Thursday...our last night in Chi-town. Judy and Rob gave us a gift certificate to North Pond, a very swanky restaurant in Lincoln Park in a little secluded spot right by the Nature Museum. It was gorgeous. We had a tasting menu that took almost three hours to finish and I had a beautiful glass of pink champagne, followed by one from New Mexico, which was equally wonderful. Perhaps I will detail this meal in full later...I wish it hadn't all been so hectic. We enjoyed it so much, but I feel it was a golden moment that is getting eroded away by all of this insanity and just general chaos and disorder. I hate when life is like that. Fast, I don't mind, but chaotic makes me crazy. CRAZY!
10) I feel sad, except that isn't the right word. Its way more complicated than "sad" allows for. I feel a sort of nostalgia for our time in Chicago, and I feel rushed through my goodbye. But I know we've outgrown it and that it is time for a change. I feel excitement for all the good things that are beginning, but I also feel a bit of hesitation. I feel nervous about all this change...its the first time we could really really fall on our faces, you know? And have to come crawling home. I really don't think that will happen, I feel like things have unfolded really beautifully and my life will continue to reveal a path that makes sense. But I look back on our time in Chicago, and the way it began, and I am amazed at how beautiful it turned out to be. I never would have guessed that things would blossom between Eric and I and grow so much deeper. I never would have thought that I could attend such an amazing University, right in the middle of the city and work at a little florist shop that taught me the dos (and a lotta donts) of running a small business. I learned so much here and took advantage of so much and this city is really dear to me.
11) Eric feels none of this...He says all he feels is excitement for the future. And he rightfully pointed out that if we want this life back, we can get it back in a second. It will be waiting right here for us a year from now. But the other possibilities may not be, and so we'll seize those.

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