Has anyone else noticed how disgusting available craft stores truly are? Michaels, Vogue Fabrics, JoAnn... they are awful, neon lit behemoths filled with useless crap that you don't want and but are forced to wade through to find the one useful item you are searching for to complete your guestbook at last. So even though you hate the place with a passion that eclipses the contempt that Paris "Blonde Icon of the Decade" Hilton holds for Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan, you are forced to spend hours there hunting for the tiny screws that will finally attach that little picture frame (that you guilded with copper leaf and soaked in vinegar for three days in order to give it a nice patina) to the cover of your handmade wedding album. Not only do you spend an hour to find three screws that come to a grand total of forty nine cents at check out, you will be forced to return the next day because said item did not meet your craft making needs and spend yet another futile hour hunting down the new item that has revealed itself to you as a possible solution (copper wire). Do you see an employee who can offer you a helpful suggestion in all your hours there? No! In fact, twice in your fruitless searches (five trips in three days) you will actually be asked if you work at the revolting craft store you are shopping at. One would think that possession of a shopping cart and giant handbag and your general apron-less-ness would indicate that you were a customer and not an employee, but this is the delusional effect that these places have on other customers. I didn't even feel offended by her mistake. Instead I felt sympathy for her plight, for I knew she would find no help in Micheals that day. I knew that she would most likely continue her fruitless search for forty five more minutes. Then, in disgust, she would leave the site of her anguish. Perhaps she would make a stop at Target looking for her little item. And obviously, they wouldn't have it. In a desperate last attempt she might wander around Home Depot in a daze. But in the end, she would have to return to the evil JoAnn/Micheals where her journey had begun. She would be doomed to complete the same despicable trail over and over again for days, just as we all are.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Does the world really need more boy girl teddy bear couples? Consider this a manifesto for The Hip Craft Store.
Has anyone else noticed how disgusting available craft stores truly are? Michaels, Vogue Fabrics, JoAnn... they are awful, neon lit behemoths filled with useless crap that you don't want and but are forced to wade through to find the one useful item you are searching for to complete your guestbook at last. So even though you hate the place with a passion that eclipses the contempt that Paris "Blonde Icon of the Decade" Hilton holds for Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan, you are forced to spend hours there hunting for the tiny screws that will finally attach that little picture frame (that you guilded with copper leaf and soaked in vinegar for three days in order to give it a nice patina) to the cover of your handmade wedding album. Not only do you spend an hour to find three screws that come to a grand total of forty nine cents at check out, you will be forced to return the next day because said item did not meet your craft making needs and spend yet another futile hour hunting down the new item that has revealed itself to you as a possible solution (copper wire). Do you see an employee who can offer you a helpful suggestion in all your hours there? No! In fact, twice in your fruitless searches (five trips in three days) you will actually be asked if you work at the revolting craft store you are shopping at. One would think that possession of a shopping cart and giant handbag and your general apron-less-ness would indicate that you were a customer and not an employee, but this is the delusional effect that these places have on other customers. I didn't even feel offended by her mistake. Instead I felt sympathy for her plight, for I knew she would find no help in Micheals that day. I knew that she would most likely continue her fruitless search for forty five more minutes. Then, in disgust, she would leave the site of her anguish. Perhaps she would make a stop at Target looking for her little item. And obviously, they wouldn't have it. In a desperate last attempt she might wander around Home Depot in a daze. But in the end, she would have to return to the evil JoAnn/Micheals where her journey had begun. She would be doomed to complete the same despicable trail over and over again for days, just as we all are.
Labels:
Lovey Dovey,
Pet Peeves
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I see you have a picture up from Dorian.
I think its an omen that you keep going back to her. I mean, she lives in ABQ, I can call her up and have her come with me to the ceremony. I think you should let her do the table decorations as well as the cake topper and the boquets. Follow your heart Becky, that's the only advice I can give.
oh, and don't ever forget her other passion.
Notice how Michael's is Half-FILLED with UGLY fake flowers? They are not allowed at our cemeteries, so who in the H#LL buys this garbage???
Post a Comment