Beware of Mommy Zombie Syndrome!

Today I took the babies to a play group. It was a fascinating opportunity to observe first hand mommy zombie syndrome. Firstly, all seven adults in the room were women, so lets not give any preemptive cheers for the equalization of gender roles in the year 2006. These ladies are all reduced to the age that their child happens to be. You would think that a play group would be a rewarding opportunity for them to indulge in conversation with other adults, leaving the children to entertain and play amongst themselves. Instead, the mothers are all planted firmly on the rather gross gymnastics mats rooting through toy bins with their kids.

I did observe some conversation among the mothers (naturally as a nanny I am excluded from acknowledgement by the real caregivers... Mommies!) but these conversations were almost as depressing as the surroundings. Sample: "We put them to bed at 9 last night. I think that time change really got to them." "Oh yes, Rory didn't nap until almost three yesterday." "Little Julia has the cutest sweatshirt on. Did you see that new line of t-shirts at Baby Gap? I wanted the frog one so bad for Tommy, but they were sold out. I called all over town and they were sold out everywhere. Then this morning someone called me from the Oakwood store and they are holding it for me. Thank God, I was seriously freaking out!!"

Cut to me sitting slightly outside the circle with my conspicuously singular coffee cup staring at them. Don't they want to seize this opportunity to have grown up talk??? Here is a moment when your child does not require much supervision, and other adults are actually present. I'm not saying we need to get into politics or deep philosophy. Maybe just a chat about the plot of Grey's Anatomy or this morning's Oprah. Thats all I'm looking for here. Something that you can't talk about with a three year old. Something that stimulates you and not them. Something that doesn't revolve around kids.

I admit that since I am not a parent myself there is a perspective I am missing here. I just hope that being a mom does not mean that you cease to exist as a person distinct from the developmental level of your child. I guess what I'm saying is that the physical and emotional needs of a child are not that difficult to meet in terms of mental expenditure. Certainly, it is hugely physically exhausting, but it's not brain surgery. So either you let your mind go on auto pilot or you have to make a concerted effort to use the rare moments of grown up time to give your brain a little workout. Note to self: remember this if/when you have children.