Friday, March 14, 2008

Whoever said that getting there is half the fun has never been on a 20 hour flight.

Have you ever passed a truckload full of chickens on the interstate? They are packed tightly like cotton balls in a jar, their little white feathers sticking through the metal grate and scattering in the wind behind them, a whirling testament to the indignities of their situation. Well that is exactly how one feels in coach on a long haul flight.

Especially when you have to pass through first class to reach your coach seat. How is it that they find a way to fit five coach passengers into the space alloted for one person in first class? It always puts me in a foul mood before the plane has even taken off. Imagine those smug first class ticket holders popping champagne and eating lobster as the gorgeous stewardesses fluff up feather pillows for their feet. Simultaneously I'm trapped in an aisle barely large enough for me and my handbag as the fellow in front of me wrestles his luggage into the overhead bin.

I love to travel. But I hate long haul flights. Here are the few things that offer me comfort on such a journey. I'm afraid those poor chickens aren't allowed any.

1) Water Water Water. I like to bring on the largest size possible. I'd bring gallons if they'd let it past security. Those dear to me have already heard this rant, so I'll just say that this time I was able to bring plenty to ward of the inevitable dehydration of twenty hours of piped in air.

2)Bose Noise Canceling Headphones (which are expensive and were generously lent to us this trip) They were wonderful, eliminating the awful drone of the roaring 747 engines, the screaming of the baby two rows in front of us and the incessant whistling of the man beside me. (at least he was feeling cheerful!) We took turns using them this trip, but we might have to buy a set for each of us if we make this journey often enough.

3) Nature Therapeutics Shut Eye Mask is made of silk and oh-so-plush! Indispensable when the Whistler also decides to turn on the blinding reading light and the plane and sun are moving at the same rate so that darkness never comes.

4) Slippers leave feet free to swell to their maximum potential. Mine aren't quite as chic as those pictured, (they are crocheted slipper socks) but they are compact enough to fit in my purse and allow my sausage feet a little comfort.

5) My favorite Burt's Complexion Mist is a wonderful refresher throughout the whole ordeal. But mark my words, one day I'll be flying first class all the way.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

duly noted.

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