Things I saw this week:

1) A bumper sticker that said "Got Flute?" On a blue minivan of course. An unheralded instrument, the flute.
2) A man riding his bicycle with a disco ball on his head. Upon closer inspection, it was revealed to be a helmet with mirror tiles painstakingly applied to the surface. Totally awesome. I wish I had time to embellish my helmet. Oh wedding preparations, how you rob me of my god given right to a glorious shimmering silver helmet!
3) Another gigantic stretch vehicle; this time it was an Escalade. On the back was their website:
"AElegantTouch.com". I'd like to make some objections here. A) It will never be elegant to arrive or depart from anything in a stretch Escalade. They are the epitome of tackiness and call to mind drunken frat boys at a bachelor party who open the windows in order to more efficiently expel vomit and empty bottles of Jager. B) "AElegantTouch" is grammatically incorrect and therefore calls into question the credentials of owners of said company for adding elegance to any occasion. Generally, one has to speak properly in order to be considered elegant. Hasn't anyone seen "My Fair Lady"? Sheesh.