What I've learned in Thirty Trips Around the Sun.

These flowers were my birthday gift to myself and my Arrangement of the Month for October.

On Sunday, I turned thirty. I had the pleasure of spending this birthday with four people I've loved for more than half my life, and one little man whose life has just begun.  Eric made a Greek inspired build-your-own falafel dinner (we had lots of Greek flavors in the fridge after the housewarming party!) and a champagne toast. Afterward, we all lounged around on pillows enjoying baklava with ice cream and coffee.

The conversation turned to what thirty years teaches you.

Thirty is a nice place to be. At thirty, you have some life under your belt. You are no longer wide eyed, you are less worried about the shoulds, you've already made some choices and had time to see what they bring. You have charted a course, but it's not too late to change directions. But the common thread that ran through the conversation was this: To thine own self be true.

There are many ways to say this. Sarah put it as "I have learned to love myself", while my mantra has been "I can only control myself" but it comes down to the same thing. The idea is that the best way to love other people truly and without selfishness is to become full of yourself so that you don't approach life with a gaping hole in your soul begging to be filled with external things. This makes you dependent on affirmations that you are good and worthwhile from other people, what you can by, how hard you can work, how much you can give. If you can do that for yourself then you are free.

I am still learning how best to do this, and it's surprisingly difficult for such a simple lesson. Why is it so hard to do the things we know are good for us? Why is it so hard to say no? Why is it so hard to drag myself to yoga class, when I know how much better I always feel afterwards? Why is it so hard to tell my husband that I need a few hours to myself?

I hope to come to a point where refueling myself with myself will no longer be struggle, but habit. But until then, I know that centering my life with myself as the top priority makes me more capable of handling challenges that come up in my life, better at creating boundaries that foster healthy relationships instead of soul sucking ones, and means that I have a deeper capacity for facing the problems that come up in every human life. I have confidence in myself. What a perfect gift as I enter my thirtieth journey around the sun.

Gatsby Party Accessory: Clamshell Ice Bucket

Wouldn't this giant faux clamshell be very Gatsby filled with ice and champagne? And surrounded by a buffet laden with caviar, oysters and ceviche? I think yes. Adding it to my fantasy party file.

What's on your wishlist right now?

DIY with The Fab Miss B: Fancy New Year Party Favors!

We decided to throw an impromptu New Year's Eve Party this year (because we live in a small town and if you want fun after 9pm you'd better make it yourself!) and I whipped together some party favors to make it feel more glamorous and festive. I scattered these around our apartment with noise makers and confetti and lots of candles and that was all the decoration we needed.

I love making favors for smallish parties because you can go over the top in a way you never could if you were hosting 60-100 guests. Here's what I used to make my New Year Party Favors:

Foil Party Picks
Plastic Champagne Bottle Bubbles
Plastic Zebras(they are already dressed to the nines in those black and white stripes!) Look for them on Etsy.
Champagne Saucers. I found mine at thrifts shops and tag sales for around .50 cents a piece, but you could also try Etsy.
Gold Foil Wrapped Chocolates- mine are Dove White Chocolates, on clearance post Christmas!
I thought about twining the stems with the metallic garlands I had on hand, but in the end I decided they were overkill.

I only purchased the hollow stem champagne saucers because the foil picks stand at perfect attention when you slip them inside. So festive!

Then, I added the champagne bubbles at a jaunty angle, the zebras for a whimsical twist and the gold foil wrapped chocolates to bring sweetness in the New Year! Then I made little paper flags with a calligraphy marker & super skinny sharpie to finish them off.

We had a great time tooting and noisily welcoming the New Year here in Hawaii- everyone around here goes mad with fireworks and we were able to watch them popping and sparkling from our lanai. I'm excited for 2012- this year both Eric and I will celebrate our 30th Birthdays (!!) and we are hoping to take some more fun trips- perhaps to the Phillipines, or maybe we'll finally do that Airstream Trip I've been fantasizing about this summer. I can't wait.

What are you most excited about in the New Year?

An Anniversary at Home: Silly Facial Hair, Lobster, Champagne and Baked Alaska

Eric and I decided to celebrate our anniversary at home again this year. (It's been Five Years!) Spending an evening at home could easily be dull, but Eric and I had a lot of fun making the extra effort to make it extraordinary.

We spent the whole day cleaning, cooking, and decorating together. It was so nice to spend the day preparing together, making a special effort to create something memorable for each other. And there is a lovely intimacy that comes from spending a whole day together this way that one would never get at a fancy restaurant with a waiter hovering over you and violinists circling around waiting for a tip. Instead, it was just the two of us, quiet happy preparations and some Tropicalismo on Pandora.

I made this pretty centerpiece with grocery store roses and leaves snipped from around our tropical home. I'll show you how to get the same look in another post.


The blown glass candlesticks were a thrift shop score- $2 a piece! The candles I had on hand were a little small for them, so I used an old trick of my Mom's and filled them with rice to hold the candles in place. Don't they look dramatic? The damask linens were scored on ebay and all the pretty china and crystal came along with our furnished rental apartment.


After the food and atmosphere were ready, I got good and gussied up. I wore these crazy long false eyelashes just for fun. (They have a leopard pattern on them and matched my hair quite nicely!) I did a bouffant sixties hair do and wore a pretty blue silk chiffon swing dress, heels and eccentric cocktail earrings of my own making. Eric shaved his beard but left a silly Frenchie Foo Foo mustache just to make me laugh.

For dinner, I made a simple spinach salad to start with and Eric made delicious cheddar bay biscuits (with a super decadent butter sauce!) and grilled lobster tails. There was plenty of iced champagne of course!

The crowning touch to our feast at home was this Baked Alaska. I used Martha's recipe for the most part, but substituted boxed cake mix for the fancy from scratch cake she made for the bottom. Browning the meringue with a blow torch at the table was a fun and dramatic way to finish a spectacular meal.



Afterwards, we read our vows to each other in the candle light (thanks Momma D and Daddy G!) and talked about the moments we remember from our five years of married life. Then we snuggled up to watch The Princess Bride, which is extra special to us since my Dad gave us a copy on our wedding day and reminded us to tell each other "As You Wish" whenever possible.

We're still learning, but I know how blessed I am to share my life with my best friend.